Finding my Conscious

Why? 

Why I am here?

Why I am doing this?  Why we cheat? Why we do bad-bitching? Why we live like we are here to live for 1000s years. Why do we waste Time? Whats the purpose of our life? Why don't we live like the way we used to talk on STD PCOs in 90s and early 2000s. We were not wasting any second of that talk time.  

Why do we want to settle when Life is not a destination it's a journey?

Why it's important to find the purpose and clarity for everything? 

Why I am finding my answers???

After I lost some of the friends and relatives to pandemic, I started valuing my-life.. I realised that the numbers and achievements are important and what ultimately matters is the integral growth and leading a purposeful life.  I want to live a life with clarity, and don't want to lead in mob mentality.   

To be honest I was very happy with my life till March 2020. Or If I frame it correctly I never thought about the purpose of my life before that.. that pseudo-happiness was there because I hadn't  introspect myself beyond my daily schedules and monthly targets. 

I did many stupid things in every possible directions, like yoga (but couldn't stick to it)...  enrolled in new courses(but no help), purchased gadgets assuming those will make me happy, but everything wasted. To find my true purpose of life I  started reading a lot and read many self-help books and also started listening spiritual podcasts, I got little clarity but more confusions. 

Then I realised Only thing kept me motivated through out was running  and cycling.  And I took up running regularly. Which I am continuing so far with occasional cycling.  But those states of overthinking and confusions still not over completely, Although I would admit that some of the things have really worked, like the books and running.  

In professional life too, I was kind of person who always believed, that keep on working on your goals , and don't think about anything else.  But I started looking for the purpose of my professional life too...  I am investing the 10 to 12 hrs a day, did I built anything that has a purpose? or did I followed my superiors blindly?. ..  And there are many many other questions and ultimately I realised that I wasn't getting that satisfaction and feeling of achieving the purpose in my current role. Since I didn't had the control on few of the things and realised that I am not around those set of people, hence I have resigned already this month.   Currently I am on notice,...  Seriously I am not sure  if going ahead I'll find the clarity/purpose .

But I would still like to continue with few ideas and activities around me where-ever I am in my life- 

1- I want to lead Positive and purposeful communication with people around me, I want to talk about the health, food and exercise habits, professional habits, family and friends (integral growth). Professional growth is not about leading a designation, role, or drawing a fat salary..  its about how we function like an atom. in the organisation.   (How we bond with people, how we react to things, how open are we to help others and how soon we can distance ourself with negativity and back-bitching).   

2- Professional growth is imp and everyone completely focusing on that.  But the personal,  mental (health) and intellectual growth is equally important and can not be compromised on the cost of putting some numbers on excel sheets.  I hate glorifying working beyond working hours and on holidays. Instead I love starting the day early and do a completely focused deep work and finish early.  I wish to have the culture where people understand and see the big picture and have the clarity about their goals in advance, and how openly they are taking the goals to larger set of people. And communicate more frequently across the hierarchies and functions.  

3- Life is like marathon not sprint, we get the best values and productivities when we have a holistic view or purpose our life (Personal+Professional+Mental).  Sort term focuses and benefits may knock down the benefits we can reap in long run.  Hence I want to lead the life in a way where I generate more value in less time, I want a culture where you have a freedom and clarity of doing the things.  I want to start early and finish early.  I don't want to fit in to 9 to 5 or 9 to 9 set of activities, rather I'll prefer to focus on delivering values by waking up early and after finishing the running/exercise start working earlier.  I have realised in all my recent experiments that the same work can be done in just few deep hours of work and instead of full day 'ragda' in the office if we have the clarity and we understands the purpose. 

4- I don't want to waste my time or of those around me by working on something which don't give me the clarity and the purpose.  I hear people say, keep it up anyways you are getting paid.  I don't want myself or my team-mates or colleague to stick to unproductive processes just because they are being paid for it. Some people choose to sit in the office and do some random task just because their boss is busy and warming his chair and don't want to leave till 8 or 9PM. 

We got limited seconds written in our life clocks, and we can not simply justify these for getting the salary or creating wealth, if we are not creating value for our organisation, our life or for the society or for those around us.  Hence I want to get on journey for rest of my life where -  

 a) I want to create more value, rather more money, because now I got the taste about the life,  the money follows you if you are able to create the values. 

b) Mental Health is more important than pleasing your boss by working for extending hours and delivering no values. 

c) Work with/ around people who are better than you no matter if they are younger than you or not educated like you.  I get to learn something from everyone. Thats how you become better without enrolling into costly professional courses. 

d) Physical health is equally important and can not be ignored, hence always focus on regular exercise , healthy you will create more value in no time than a sick.  I realised I don't take sick leaves and that endurance give me power and confidence to take up the challenges in a more effective way. 

e) Love yourself thats when you'll not misuse yourself and you'll add value to your life and to everyone around you. 

f) Everyday is same, hence we can not categorise my days based on others' priorities , rather I want to fit all the priorities such a way that I don't feel any pressure any day.

g) Say 'No' to people if you don't get the clarity from them.  Never put yourself in to those situations where you pay the price of saying 'YES'. 

h) Dont feed yourself junk. I Don't consume junk content on my cell phone, neither I want to eat junk. Categorically choose what if helpful for the purpose of your life and what will help in creating the value.  

i) Education and learning is never ending process, hence don't settle for anything.  Keep learning keep finding answers.  So is life,....  it's a journey through out, and no destination attached to it. 

Life is not about doing job and earning money and raising kids, It's way beyond that... and I am on the journey to rise beyond the 'chal rha hai' and 'kat rhi hai'. Did you find the purpose of your life? please help me find mine .. Whats your purpose for life?